Character and Coping

So it is on to the next textbook for me. Introducing Kevin Cashman's Leadership from the Inside Out. I've decided to first focus on Cashman's thoughts on character and coping. 

He asks if our leadership arises from our character, aka the essence of who we are, or by by a pattern of coping, where we tend to react to circumstances to elicit an immediate result. He says that character is the "essence" of leadership and coping is what helps us get through the hard times, or what "protects" us. 

Cashman takes a look at three areas of coping versus character. 

1. Image vs. Authenticity

When we are coping we are very concerned with our image versus being authentic.  This seems to be something that even the best leaders struggle with. I know that I am no exception.  Image awareness, particularly in Southern California where image is so important, is something that I struggle with in almost every leadership situation.  I always battle doing what is right versus doing what will make me look good or what will please the most people and in turn make me look good.  The ideal situation is when I can have both, but its not always so easy to balance the two. 

2. Safety, Security, and Comfort vs. Purpose

Cashman says that staying safe can sometimes keep us from experiencing new things and recognizing possibilities. This is definitely something that I struggle with as a leader. I've never been much of a risk taker. I'm generally a follow the rules kind of girl. I like to have a nice cushion already in place in case I fall hard from the jump. I'm all about creating as safe of an atmosphere as possible before committing to a maneuver that I consider risky.  Call me conservative. 

I've always seen this as a sign of good leadership but Cashman says that this is not always true. Sometimes we as leaders become too attached to our need for safety and it ends up holding us back from exploring new experiences and possibilities. Innovation and creativity can sometimes have a hard time surfacing amongst restrictions and tedious planning that comes with creating a secure place for decision making. 

3. Control vs. Openness

This one certainly speaks straight to me. Although it has taken me years to accept this about myself I can now openly admit that I am a bit of a control freak, and by a bit I mean a lot. I am oftentimes a perfectionist, particularly when it comes to achieving a clearly defined goal, such as turning in a group project. It kills me to turn in anything that I consider to be subpar.  If there are remaining mistakes, pieces that could have been enhanced with added effort or time, or simply average work I will go back and adjust. I sound terrible, I realize this, I'm working on it. I'm more than happy to turn over a project if I feel that the person I am turning it over to can do it better than me. I'm all about having the best product possible, even if that means someone else does it.  But it takes a lot for me to trust others to do the work with their full effort, as much effort as I would put into it.  I joke with my friends that one of the highest compliments I can pay them is to tell them that I would hire them. 

Trust me, I realize the pitfalls of being a control freak.  People get annoyed with me. I get annoyed with me. Its stressful and frustrating to try and micromanage people. I don't like it and they don't like it. Within the past years this has been a part of me that I've really tried to work on.  It wasn't until I got involved with the leadership minor at USD that I was forced to take a good hard look at the way I lead and to adjust accordingly.  Recently, I had a group project where I challenged myself to delegate and then let go.  I did. It was somewhat of a disaster but I have to remind myself that it was second semester seniors that I was dealing with.